Poetry: Indecipherable

When you first meet me
Your words confuse me
And in a delight
I respond

The response remains the same
No matter the times it frequents
But you fail to understand
The reason

I want you to understand
But the answer
Is not something
To be said

In my silence
Your anger festers
(Impatience breeds
Its own reward)

I am a woman
This is something you know
You've read the books
You've heard the stories

Why can't you appreciate
I want to be a mystery unveiled?
Demanding, I lash out
Half truths and lies

These are things you accept
(The quick answer
Is usually wrong)
It soothes your rage

So now I'm stuck
Having to pretend it's true
('Cause you'll fulminate again
If I told you the truth)

I am a simple person
But some things
Are hard to say
And need time to ripen

Impatience plucks these fruit
Off their branches green
Tasting sour
When you bite them

I am a sweet fruit
Much treasured
Very dear
(But handle with care)

I talk in my own time
I say as I can
Never saying everything
Even if I wish to

That is the essence
This is how I want you to learn
Experience me piece-by-piece
Know me at the end

But you want a map
An instructional guide
"Hey peach, tell me how you work
And it better apply to pears too"

I can't do that
I'm sorry but it is not possible
I clam up
I freak out

You need a guide?
Then I'll change the road
For if you can't follow my way
Then you can't reach my destination

I talk in riddles
Then tell you what they mean
You are amazed at the puzzles
And love your hatred of them

Sometimes I stop
Sometimes I'm me
Blinded by the game
You just can't see

And you think I'm lying
When it's the truth I reveal
So wearily the mask goes on
And we continue for your zeal

You sometimes complain
Wishing I were more simple
But you don't understand
The complexity is for you

Like a rose picked
Before it had a chance to bloom
You yell at me for not being open
But deny me the soil and the sun

Prying hands
Brute force
Harsh words
Tearing at me

Yes, this way you can too
Find my center
But you'll miss the point
You lose the mystery to be unveiled

Don't pry at me
Don't pester me
Don't yell for an immediate response
Don't grumble at how I work

And after all this?
When you've beaten me to a pulp
When you've whipped the personality away
When you forced a fake reality

You complain about the rules
Of the game you needed
To understand
How to relate to women

I am not women
I am just one
I work my way
As does anyone

I speak lots
And I can ramble for days
But if I'm not ready
No truth will I say

And I try to tell you this
But you aren't ready to learn
Begging for answers
You aren't ready to unearth

So I made up a manner
To please your frustration
Making rules as I went
And you lived by them

You think I'm hard to read?
No, you just need to listen
Give up your way
And patiently give in

All you want to know
Can be revealed in time
Follow the procedure
Trust that I speak the truth

Your thirst for control
Your desire for order
Your need for hierarchy
Your lust for submission

Build up a wall
That neither one of us
Wants there
Blocking the path (listen!)

But the demand doesn't stop
The yelling continues
The blame game rages forth
You make me into an enigma

I'll be your riddler
If you need answers your way
I'll give you a code
That I write quite frankly

I'll work by these new rules
And it does please you
So I am glad
The hatred of me dwindles

But if you can remember
How I acted when we met
It is no longer the same
I am now bound by your edict

Like an electron
Your search to know me
Changed me
And stole away my candor

Listen sometime
When I am with other people
For they haven't caged me
My speech is more wonderful

The rules you live by
For interacting with me
Apply to only you
Why can you see?

I am not hard to learn
I am not difficult to understand
But to trust with the truth
I need time and love as guarantee

Want an answer from me?
Give me time to explain
Not an hour, not a week
Don't measure it for me

Show me you care
Not about the answer
(It matters not)
But about me

Don't tell me
Don't get frustrated
Don't complain
Actions speak louder than words

Your actions are few
Your words are trying
Why would I tell you now?
How could I reach you?

Raise the question
Maybe one reminder
Drop it
I'll tell you when I'm ready

Show interest in what I say
Put the technology away
Don't look at your watch
Be present

You want an answer to a hard question?
Raise it
Engage in light conversation
And be interested!

Appear to forget your inquiry
Let me enjoy our talk
After I have relaxed
After you gave me some time

I'll answer without prompt
So why do you demand from me?
I like being upfront
I value honesty and truth

So let me be so
But to do so
I need to follow
My way

I am not cunning
I am not one to riddle
I speak as I feel
(Sometimes that's metaphorically)

I can be blunt
I can be harsh
I can be kind
I can be honest

But I need to get there
On my own
And your pushing?
Is nagging

When I'm badgered
I shut up
I close shop
Because you don't care

Not about the issue, no
You certainly care about that
But the price of the answer?
My personhood?

You show that the answer
Is vastly more important
Than the problem
Than the steps to solve it

So might as well
Tell you no lies
But not the complete truth
Scrambled in code

Because you care more about
The answer
Than what the question truly is
Or the method to understanding

You're welcome
This game was made for you
Because of you
Do you enjoy it?

At least you can get answers this way
But no matter what I say or do
I have found no way
To get answers from you

You want my thoughts? Done
You want my schedule? Done
You want my feelings? Done
You want my company? Done

Since you won't play my way
You'll have to do some decrypting
But, hey
At least you learned... something

But when it comes to you
And understanding your thoughts
And knowing your feelings
And being present in your life

I can only say that you're
Indecipherable