Poetry: Here

One night of passion
A single day where reason fades away
The solitary moment when bad decisions were made

Oh how they taint us
And turn our skin black
Our mind's eye can never un-see
The events that taint our memory

We try to move on
It never happened, we think
A dream best forgotten
A nightmare
Waiting to be unleashed

We stand and look proud
And act with defiance
But inside we're broken
And trembling sets in
Doubt floods the mind
Leaving us weak and mild

And I see you now
But you can't see me
All of the emotions gripping
Fighting for control
And I can't think straight
My heart's all align and
Stop

I'm here
You're there
Look at me
Please tell me
What are you thinking?
I don't want to live like this

My walls are held up by nothing
The platform has disappeared
A cornerstone missing
You can see the foundation lacking
No roof to protect me

Please don't desert me
Trust me to understand
Let me see
I'll tell you what you mean to me

But it takes two to dance
And you're not walking towards me
So I'm not gonna push it

One night of mistakes
That lead to this mess

All I want is to communicate

I await your desire and availability
Here

I am defeated.

Poetry: Broken, Bleeding

The hand is shaking
But the grip is smooth
The flesh is cold
But the blood runs hot

This
This is what I need
Self despising yet
Gleeful in anticipation

The knife is sharpened
The hands quiver
The blade grazes the skin
Just play for a second
No need to rush
All you have is time
Full focus

After months of cloudy judgment
Negatory thoughts
Doubt
Confusion

Here
Here is clarity
Here is calm

The blade flirts with the skin
Pressing its power
Down
It creates a dent
Down
Soft release

A pool wells at the edges
Filling
Overflowing

Release
The fog in the mind dispersed

A tear rolls down the cheek unnoticed
Pure, unadulterated freedom
Feelings finally known

The prize almost sexual
It's primal
Falling in love
With the simplicity of pain

Watching in subdued tones of contentment
Red fills the empty space
The ichor of the soul
Poured

Sleepiness overtakes all slaves of the blade
Stealing away residues of body heat
The clarity leaves
And numbness takes its seat

Wash away the evidence
Bandage the wound
Hide the betrayal
There's no need for anyone else to see

Let the sheets consume the husk
The carapace sleeps while the heart bleeds
Another day stands in wait

Surviving release to release
Praying not to OD

Poetry: The Shell

I'm drifting.
The wind blows and I rush along
In directions
I shouldn't claim as mine.

This path is so inconsistent
This lifestyle isn't me

I look in the mirror
And I can't recognize a thing.

Like a snake that shed its skin
I am the husk that is left

Watch me try to pretend to be a snake
Watch me get torn
Ripped
Broken
Fading

Plaster yourself up, I say.
Add some glue,
Some stones,
Some sticks

Fill yourself up with lies and mud
Pretend to still be a snake

Failing to do each task set before you
Your deceit just causes more ripping

Maybe it's time to retire.
Put the stones back in the pond,
The sticks at the base of the tree.

Stop letting yourself be weighed down
By things you're just pretending to be.

Then you'll fly free

I'll fly away as little old me
An empty husk forever to be.

Give me War

"Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division. From now on a household of five will be divided, three against two and two against three; a father will be divided against his son and a son against his father, a mother against her daughter and a daughter against her mother, a mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law." Luke 12:51-53

How are we divided? Let's look at what is being said and what is left inferred in other passages.
A father and son in disunity
A mother and daughter in disunity
A daughter-in-law and mother-in-law in disunity

But father and mother, the married couple are unified.
The siblings show no strife between them.
The daughter-in-law may as well be the mother.
Couple against their children and their parent.

May as well be against the world.
But aren't they?
Jesus calls himself the bridegroom of the church.
It is said that what God has put together no man can separate.
There is so much emphasis on the relationship of marriage...

And none on any other.
In fact, he claims division even at our most basic.
Our core.

What does it mean to be a follower of Christ?
To be a house divided?
To have every one in the world stacked up against you?
As long as you're holding onto the arm of Jesus, yes.
He is saying to join him against the world.
Abandon your family.
Abandon your earthly ties.
Abandon your sin.
Abandon all so that you can be with him.

Everything that makes a relationship toxic...
Everything that makes a relationship cultish...
Everything that makes a relationship separate from the world...
Do it all
Do it with Jesus.

With Love, it cannot go sour.
Hopeless abandon.
Blood is not strong enough.
Brotherhood is not good enough.
But the Love of the Lord?
It is the only thing that is enough.

We keep putting our Christianity into this nice box.
Jesus came for the poor.
Jesus was a good person.
Jesus cared about love.
Jesus served the needy.
But
We aren't listening.

When Jesus hung out with Samaritans...
And we who call ourselves Christian are visibly racist.
When Jesus ate with the tax collectors...
And we demand harsher and harsher penalties for crime.

Jesus left towns of starving, needy people to continue on.
Jesus rebuked those who became materialistic.
Jesus said he wasn't here to help... but to cause discord.
Jesus kept reminding his disciples to focus and listen.
So what weren't they getting?

The battle to come.
The battle for souls reached out across the stars between Heaven and Hell.
The toll of conflict.
The toll of peace.

We aren't listening.

The world is coming to end, the nigh is near.
Dusk is approaching and... we aren't lighting our candles.
Settle into depths of night, close our eyes, let sleep wash over us.
The sleep of death.

Fight back!
Don't let him rob you in the night.
The flaccid are the first to fall.
The opposition follows.

An attack is approaching and we're still on the coach, sipping a beer.

Give me war.
Let me taste the blood of the fallen and my injuries.
It's time to stand and let the Sword of Truth rise.

Persecution is surrounding us, enclosing the world in its prison.
Gather together, we're in a time of waiting.
Like Russia, we're letting them draw us in.
But it's almost time to conquer them in the night!

Come, come!

Listen.

We are alone in Jesus.
Neighbors leave us.
Family persecutes us.
Children desert us.
Friends abandon us.
But.
We are with the Lord.

So let's start acting like it.

Stop picking your losses and
Give me war.

We're needing soldiers.