Stand By Me

She looked at him, obviously hurt by his words but not moving to anger nor saying anything in protest. She slowly walked closer to him as the pain in her eyes softened to something he didn’t quite recognize and she leaned forward and kissed his lips softly for what seemed like forever but was probably less than 30 seconds. She broke off the kiss and continued looking at him with that face he didn’t recognize and for reasons he still didn’t understand, he started crying as a single tear fell down her cheek. He felt her take him into her bosom and hold him in place, letting her heartbeat steady his tears as she stroked the back of his head.

His head spun with questions he wished he knew the answers to but he remained silent as she held him in place and he accepted that as enough as she slowly started rocking him in her arms.

They slunk to the ground, both uncaring about the cleanliness of the floor as they held each other in their arms and he kissed her softly as he realized that he loved her. She smiled at him and brushed her hair behind her ear and leaned into his shoulder as he held onto her waist and pulled her closer to himself. She nestled against him and fell asleep with a slight smile on her face as he looked down at her and thought about how they ended up here.

Looking down at her, he realized that she was much stronger than he ever gave her credit for. So many people in their situation would have let an argument start, a divorce occur, violence rupture. Heck, that’s what happened in all the TV dramas and with both of their parents. Yet… she didn’t let any of those things happen. He had hurt her and she still stood by him and loved him. He couldn’t understand it. He didn’t need to. He closed his eyes as he breathed her in and let it be enough. She was enough.

Memory Lane

The wind bristled against her exposed flesh, causing goosebumps to spurt up and dance along, letting her know in its restless movement the extent of her body. Her hair was on end and the cold was sinking in. This is how one remains fully dressed while feeling entirely exposed. She looked up from the sidewalk where she stood and into a distance her eyes could not see. Her legs stepped forward of their own accord, walking to a destination that she had long since forgotten yet her muscles remembered their way.

With all of her attention on the cold embrace of the wind, time went by unnoticed until she was at her destination. She snapped out of her daze and looked around slowly as her memory flooded back in, overwhelming her small frame with emotions though not forgotten were faded with time until their vigor returned in full. She shivered through her warm tears as she stood there, helplessly. Unsure of whether she should leave or move forward, she stood with doubt clouding her mind as the scene reminded her of the halcyon days, the fights, the dull moments that marked too much of the precious past.

Was it weak to not be able to decide if she wanted to journey there again or not? She collapsed into the gelid pavement and let the temperature of the ground seep into her legs, making her even more immobile to make the decision. Her legs hurt in their current position, sprawled on the floor but she did not adjust.

The only mark of time was the spread of the lack of feeling. If she was waiting for a sign, it took a while to come because soon her head buzzed as she became completely numb. Thoughts of movement urged her to action that she did not follow as her eyes drooped and she fainted, hitting her head on the unfeeling ground.

Poetry: Me and You

I don’t pity you. I can’t and I won’t.
The situation you find yourself in you lead yourself to.
Don’t go blaming others for the choices you made.
It was you who chose to follow the desires of them.
Your words and your actions do not align.
So I call you a liar: to yourself and to me.
And I say that your actions reflect a lack of dignity.

Then I’ll stand here and wait for your action.
If you desire something more than this, it’s in your hands.
Since this was broken by your prerogative it’s not my place.
Refusal burns in me to repair your mess.
Prove to me that this is worth it to you.
For I don’t do halfway.

Honestly, I know more than you.
But this decision is yours.
Our fate is up to you.
And I won’t pretend the past is gone.
That was an active choice made by you.

Here I am, saying how it is.
Don’t go blaming me for reality.
Bitter words won’t change the fates.
Stop wishing to change the past.

Sometimes I wonder why I befriended you.
Many promises have gone unfulfilled.
There has been a lot of strife.

In our interactions there hasn’t been much depth.
Suppose we are strangers who occasionally interact.

A day in the life of me and you.

Poetry: Depression Is

I don't know why I'm sad.
Oh, trust me, I have plenty of reasons to be.
My family isn't the most stable,
My grades aren't super stellar,
My sleeping schedule is out of whack,
My man is more unresponsive than I would like,
My interactions with others has severely decreased,
My schoolwork is drowning me in assignments.

I am numb to it all.
The urgency I once felt,
The vigor of life that led me,
The passion of the words that I speak,
Dried away in the heat of day.

I've kinda forgotten how to smile.
Productivity is not even fathomable in my dreams.
I lay here, mind battling body to do something besides sleep.
Besides play dumb, cheap internet games.

I loathe myself.
Not because I'm particularly loathsome of a person...

I am not what I was meant to be.
This can't be the life I'm supposed to be living.
All I want is release.

How to be a Wife

Love
Honor
Obey

Poetry: To Bestow

My muscles tense in memories that my brain wants to forget.

I’m not wanting this yet
The feelings can’t go away
The memory won’t dim
The throbbing can’t stop
There’s no way to avoid it

Yet again my body betrays me
My mind is full of lackluster
I lack all energy

I guess I’ll surrender

Poetry: Before I Knew

A desire
A longing
A wish
A short contemplation of the mind
A slight sorrow
A break in thought
Not to be thought again
Till another day

An un-lived fantasy of the mind
Drawing life from dearth
A bother
A hindrance
But
Nothing more

Then one day
Among thoughts of need
Availability is there
Possibility is here
Going along out of fear
Don’t want to miss an opportunity
The comings and goings of which are too fast

So now I have a taste
It unleashed my appetite
A desire before? A desperation now
A longing before? A burning now
A wish before? A craving now
A small thought turned to all day obsession
Mad with yearning
There is no other thought
Hoping to end this consideration
With the end of today

If I knew this power of my mind
Drawing and reflecting given a taste of my desire
Then
Would I have let myself still be led here?
Weak in coveting
Because I know.