Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Memory Lane

The wind bristled against her exposed flesh, causing goosebumps to spurt up and dance along, letting her know in its restless movement the extent of her body. Her hair was on end and the cold was sinking in. This is how one remains fully dressed while feeling entirely exposed. She looked up from the sidewalk where she stood and into a distance her eyes could not see. Her legs stepped forward of their own accord, walking to a destination that she had long since forgotten yet her muscles remembered their way.
With all of her attention on the cold embrace of the wind, time went by unnoticed until she was at her destination. She snapped out of her daze and looked around slowly as her memory flooded back in, overwhelming her small frame with emotions though not forgotten were faded with time until their vigor returned in full. She shivered through her warm tears as she stood there, helplessly. Unsure of whether she should leave or move forward, she stood with doubt clouding her mind as the scene reminded her of the halcyon days, the fights, the dull moments that marked too much of the precious past.
Was it weak to not be able to decide if she wanted to journey there again or not? She collapsed into the gelid pavement and let the temperature of the ground seep into her legs, making her even more immobile to make the decision. Her legs hurt in their current position, sprawled on the floor but she did not adjust.
The only mark of time was the spread of the lack of feeling. If she was waiting for a sign, it took a while to come because soon her head buzzed as she became completely numb. Thoughts of movement urged her to action that she did not follow as her eyes drooped and she fainted, hitting her head on the unfeeling ground.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Poetry: Me and You

I don’t pity you. I can’t and I won’t.
The situation you find yourself in you lead yourself to.
Don’t go blaming others for the choices you made.
It was you who chose to follow the desires of them.
Your words and your actions do not align.
So I call you a liar: to yourself and to me.
And I say that your actions reflect a lack of dignity.
Then I’ll stand here and wait for your action.
If you desire something more than this, it’s in your hands.
Since this was broken by your prerogative it’s not my place.
Refusal burns in me to repair your mess.
Prove to me that this is worth it to you.
For I don’t do halfway.
Honestly, I know more than you.
But this decision is yours.
Our fate is up to you.
And I won’t pretend the past is gone.
That was an active choice made by you.
Here I am, saying how it is.
Don’t go blaming me for reality.
Bitter words won’t change the fates.
Stop wishing to change the past.
Sometimes I wonder why I befriended you.
Many promises have gone unfulfilled.
There has been a lot of strife.
In our interactions there hasn’t been much depth.
Suppose we are strangers who occasionally interact.
A day in the life of me and you.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Poetry: Depression Is

I don't know why I'm sad.
Oh, trust me, I have plenty of reasons to be.
My family isn't the most stable,
My grades aren't super stellar,
My sleeping schedule is out of whack,
My man is more unresponsive than I would like,
My interactions with others has severely decreased,
My schoolwork is drowning me in assignments.

I am numb to it all.
The urgency I once felt,
The vigor of life that led me,
The passion of the words that I speak,
Dried away in the heat of day.

I've kinda forgotten how to smile.
Productivity is not even fathomable in my dreams.
I lay here, mind battling body to do something besides sleep.
Besides play dumb, cheap internet games.

I loathe myself.
Not because I'm particularly loathsome of a person...

I am not what I was meant to be.
This can't be the life I'm supposed to be living.
All I want is release.