Saturday, March 7, 2015

Understanding Women: It's a Monthly Ratio

So a few nights ago I was talking with one of my buddies about the difference in the sexes and I had this really great story/metaphor explaining things and he really understood what I said and was able to really come to terms with reality. This is an attempt to recreate that conversation because seriously, guys... you have absolutely no grasp on the female craziness. This will not be nearly as great as what was said that night... at 1:30am... on the spot... because life doesn't work that way.

For starters, you cannot think of brain patterns of the sexes similarly. There are different neurons firing when they are presented with the exact same stimulus and thus as a sex, a situation is viewed differently. Thus, men understand men and women understand women. But just because you haven't gone through the same experience doesn't mean you can't acknowledge their struggles.

Every two weeks for a week long, women are horny. Now, this is nothing like a male's horniness because it has different causes. Men are horny because they become stimulated, their body is reflexing itself, and blood flow. Women are horny due to their cycle and stimulation. Primarily the first... I feel like I only ever get horny because my body forces me to.

Think of woman's month (28 days) like this.
Days 1-7: normal week
Days 8-14: horny week, best time to become impregnated, constantly wet, definitely "in heat"
Days 15-21: normal week but slightly aggravated for no reason, cramping
Days 22-28: period week, cramping and bleeding all the time, the extra wetness causes horniness
Days 1-7: normal week

Think of a man's month (28 days) like this.
Days 1-28: normal month

Why am I mentioning this? Because for women, hormones control everything, all the time. Hormones have a strong impact on emotion, reasoning, and interpretation of events. Ever wondered why a girl was really flirty and awesome one day but the next refused to talk and shut you down? Because of hormones. I know it's social suicide to blame PMS, but in reality... everything a girl does is because of PMS. You have to understand it to be able to accept and deal with it without using it as an excuse for not getting what you want.

For example, crushes.
Guys are pretty consistent in their emotions because they aren't on a cycle, they are steady. When they like someone, they like them. End discussion. But when a girl likes someone, that's only one of the many emotions battling in her head.

Thoughts about a crush occurring within a 10 second interval:
Wow, I like him
I can't stand him right now
He looks good today
Would he just fix his hair already?
I love his smell
No, I hate how he smells
But I want to breathe in his scent
Why do I even like this loser
I want to marry him
Crap, he's looking at me
Why do I care?
I am fed up with him
I really want to talk with him
He's so dorky looking
I am so infatuated with this guy
His hands are always so freaking clammy
I want to hold his hand anyways
Does he like me?
Of course not, why do I like him?
I can't wait to tell him ___
I want his children
Ew, sex is gross, imagine being naked in a room with him...ew
Oh great, he's coming over
Yay
Gah
So not ready for this
I haven't seen him in so long

All these thoughts swim in your head at once: positive and negative and sometimes it's hard to understand where they are even coming from because you don't seriously believe half this garbage, but you think it anyways. And it's always in there, pounding away. All of these contradictory thoughts, all together, battling each other for control and it's really hard to sort what you really feel and what it seems like you're feeling due to who knows what. It gets worse when you are horny because primal urges become the strongest voice in your head and it shakes and scares your morals. Honestly, you like your crush. Yet in your head, nearly as strong are feelings of strong negativity against them. For absolutely no reason at all. They're just there... in your head. For no reason. They never go away either, it's quite a dilemma.

It's like... the world is a straight path, everyone has to walk forward on a one-way journey. And this is easy for men because they think in a straight-forward manner and thus the world reflects how they think and live. But... women are caught on the merry-go-round. Their bodies force them to act on this loop, going around and around every month with the only consistency being between certain weeks in a month instead of the day-to-day basis of a man. But the world is moving straight so they struggle to move forward while being spun around and around and around. But they aren't build to walk straight so that causes even more turmoil and it's so frustrating.

There is no day-to-day consistency and it's a very active struggle to choose which of the many thoughts that are in your head will be in the majority so you act with stability. This is why people say don't trust your feelings unless you hold them for more than 4 months: not because you don't know your feelings sooner... it really is faster to fall in love that that... but since you ride a merry-go-round you have to make sure that you know what you feel is what YOU feel and not what your body does before making any commitments to a person that may just be an object of your hormones' desires.

And any who says that ladies just need to get it together and control their hormones has not seriously known a woman. I mean, be in someone's presence for a great length of each day for a two month time period and see how different they act while being themselves. They will act differently but they are trying not to. It's really easy to tell where a woman is in her cycle based on the slight differences she has in her behavior during the month. And this isn't being sexist, this is just straight up honest.

Women live on a merry-go-round of hormones and chemical balances that men do not experience as their bodies do not function in that way. Therefore, take whatever is said with a grain of salt... please.

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