Poetry: Torture

Jeremiah 20: 7-12

You duped me, O Lord, and I let myself be duped;
you were too strong for me, and you triumphed.
All the day I am an object of laughter;
everyone mocks me.

Whenever I speak, I must cry out,
violence and outrage is my message;
The word of the Lord has brought me
derision and reproach all the day.

I say to myself, I will not mention him,
I will speak in his name no more.
But then it becomes like fire burning in my heart,
imprisoned in my bones;
I grow weary holding it in,
I cannot endure it.

Yes, I hear the whisperings of many:
'Terror on every side!
Denounce! let us denounce him!'
All those who were my friends
are on the watch for any misstep of mine.
'Perhaps he will be trapped;
then we can prevail,
and take our vengeance on him.'

But the Lord is with me, like a mighty champion:
my persecutors will stumble, they will not triumph.
In their failure, they will be put to utter shame,
to lasting, unforgettable confusion.

O Lord of hosts, you who test the just,
who probe the mind and heart,
Let me witness the vengeance you take on them,
for to you I have entrusted my cause.

Sing to the Lord,
praise the Lord,
For he has rescued the life of the poor
from the power of the wicked!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have been lied to.
I was told it was easy,
Just love God, follow his word, want him.
I heard the stories, the miracles, the victories.
Recalling upon the savior with pure awe.

I wanted this.
I wanted to be closer to the creator.
I did not know the price.
Hearing a story that gives warnings does nothing.
Ignorant and hopeful, I went into the dark.

Walking closer to God is painful.
It requires giving up your will.
It means being mocked for choosing love over the material.
Misunderstood, feared, and alone;
I walked with my angels and the Lord.

They claim that I do not know him.
They claim that my faith is wrong.
They claim that I lost my logic.
They claim that I worship demons.

Loving God truly means to sacrifice your being to him, for him.
Temptations sprout like weeds,
Pulling you into a web of lies,
Fighting to draw you back,
Satan laughs in rejoice at every fall
Into the sin he is slaved to.

Angered at a proximity to God he lost,
Satan rages in jealousy and attacks.
And oh, how painful and frightening
These events are.

Death cannot be delivered from a sinful hand.
Bound by his creation,
Demons do no more than they are permitted
But still rejoice in their ability to harm.

And oh, how they harm.
They strike at you.
Pull your body into fear and spit lies.
Rarely there is physical debris left afterwards...
But
That makes their marks no less painful.

And it's not just them.

To walk with God is deny oneself.
I am no longer controlled by the material.
The people I know and knew hold no bondage over me.
The sins I have been tainted with?
Bleached away in the terrifying light of the Lord.

Nothing is scarier than someone who has no bounds.
To walk and live completely in their belief and faith,
What a horrifying thought.
But this is what God asks.
And when we do, oh how our neighbors tremble.
They can only feel right again by casting stones.

Jesus said, make the weakest stone the cornerstone.
Our foundation is built on trust.
To trust completely, faith of a child,
This is what it means to love him.

How far will you go for your faith?
The world asks you.
Your mother, brother, father... asks you.
God asks you.
To have faith is to be tested.
Are you strong enough to rely on our creator?

Choosing God is not a "point of no-return", it is a choice made every second of every day and the answer can change at any moment in time. Can you handle that burden? The constant temptations swirl around and mock you for choosing a path that doesn't involve them. Your peers, your siblings, society... surely will never understand why you trudge forward into the darkness that God calls you to when they are scared to live without fluorescent lights. There will be many who disagree with your choice, actively seeking your destruction as long as you move forward. But if you learnt just one thing from playing addictive video games as a child, isn't it true that the closer that your character becomes to victory that the enemies become stronger and more difficult to move past?

I know all this now. I knew not this then.
When I started my choice,
How could I have known
The pain of choosing Love.

Yahweh; to you I pray.
Creator, love me.
Savior, judge me.
Spirit, guide me.
At least for this second, I will go on.
With my angel at my side and a bible in my hand,
God, I willing to do your will.

And this time I know the consequences.