Poetry: Broken, Bleeding

The hand is shaking
But the grip is smooth
The flesh is cold
But the blood runs hot

This
This is what I need
Self despising yet
Gleeful in anticipation

The knife is sharpened
The hands quiver
The blade grazes the skin
Just play for a second
No need to rush
All you have is time
Full focus

After months of cloudy judgment
Negatory thoughts
Doubt
Confusion

Here
Here is clarity
Here is calm

The blade flirts with the skin
Pressing its power
Down
It creates a dent
Down
Soft release

A pool wells at the edges
Filling
Overflowing

Release
The fog in the mind dispersed

A tear rolls down the cheek unnoticed
Pure, unadulterated freedom
Feelings finally known

The prize almost sexual
It's primal
Falling in love
With the simplicity of pain

Watching in subdued tones of contentment
Red fills the empty space
The ichor of the soul
Poured

Sleepiness overtakes all slaves of the blade
Stealing away residues of body heat
The clarity leaves
And numbness takes its seat

Wash away the evidence
Bandage the wound
Hide the betrayal
There's no need for anyone else to see

Let the sheets consume the husk
The carapace sleeps while the heart bleeds
Another day stands in wait

Surviving release to release
Praying not to OD